How I run my own business when I'm also a full-time carer

Running your own business is never easy, but when that is combined with the complexities involved with being a carer, it's even more difficult. I am a full-time carer for my youngest son, who has ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder) and likely has ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) and PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance). In addition to this, over the past month, my husband has been experiencing severe Vertigo, brought on by Acute Labyrinthitis and has been unable to work until this week; albeit he is having a very slow reintroduction to working remotely.

This week (9th-15th June) is Carers Week, but I actually almost forgot to acknowledge this, as the past month, and in particular, the last two weeks, have proved to be incredibly difficult. My son severely struggles with transition, and sometimes completely refuses to go to school. He is only 6, but he is too big for me to carry and any battle we have about going to school, I always lose.

Sometimes he may wake up saying he doesn't want to go to school, and other days he'll only decide this as he approaches the school gate, or as I say goodbye. It is very spontaneous and unpredictable, often resulting in shutdowns or meltdowns, and it can make the mornings incredibly stressful and emotional.

One of the reasons I started my own business, was to have the flexibility I needed to be able to manage my son, not just getting him to school, but also the endless paperwork and meetings/appointments needed for/about him. Being Autistic myself, I struggle with many things on a daily basis, and having to manage and accommodate my son's needs as well as my own, is a challenge in itself.

There are several things that I have put in place to ensure that my business can still run smoothly on the unpredictable, difficult days:

1) I have factored 'buffer time' into my daily schedule, to take into account meltdowns, therapy appointments, and unexpected changes in routine. For example, I do not make any meetings or appointments before 10am. I need to ensure that there is plenty of time between getting my son to school, and me having time to decompress and process everything, just in case it's a bad start, before I can talk business with anyone.

2) I rely heavily on structured routines and detailed scheduling systems to maintain consistency in both my business operations and daily life, which helps me manage my executive functioning challenges. I have strategies in place to help me when I feel overwhelmed or experience sensory overload, which is particularly prevalent when networking or meeting clients.

3) I often work during non-traditional hours (evenings and weekends) to maximise productivity, while ensuring my son (and my other children) receive the attention they need.

4) I have streamlined my business processes to be as efficient as possible, using systems and automation where I can to reduce the cognitive load of daily operations. This has actually been helped by some of my ASD traits, such as attention to detail, pattern recognition, and hyper-focus.

5) I am honest and transparent with my clients about my availability and response times, which actually builds trust and sets realistic expectations on both sides.

6) I am very fortunate to have a fantastic support network around me, which means that when something unexpected happens, I can lean on them. My son is selectively mute, and will rarely talk to people he's not comfortable with. However, he knows who his safe people are, and he's able to be himself with them, which makes all the difference.

I have never been focused on getting as many clients as possible, or making the most amount of money I can. I have had to redefine what 'balance' means to me and my family, and that means doing the best possible job for my clients, whilst having a happy, healthy home life. I have learned to recognise my own limits and have the above-named strategies for managing my workload, especially during particularly challenging periods with my son.

I truly believe that my experience of having ASD, as well as caring for someone with ASD is invaluable and actually helps me to connect authentically with clients who may have experienced similar challenges.

As Carers Week draws to a close, I feel it is important to highlight the essential, relentless and exhausting work that being a carer is, especially when you are trying to run your own business as well. Not enough people talk about it and there is not enough recognition of the (unpaid) hard work that carers have to do, every day, whilst often having to manage a job as well.

More understanding, compassion, support and equality is needed for what carers experience on a daily basis.